Dear Sorcha I’ve seen you help many many students with their problems and I’m hoping you can work your magic again for me. I’m a final year accountancy student and am freaking out with pre-exam stress. My passion in life has always been extreme taxidermy and I’m convinced Galway is crying out for an exotic animal stuffers on Shop Street.
Tag Archives | agony aunt
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain Age 9
Dear Sorcha, I have no one else to turn to and I hear you are the best. I’m having serious problems in the bedroom and I need your help. My problem is quite embarrassing, so please be kind. Basically, when I get into bed beside my boyfriend I always need to fart just before I go to sleep. I’ve tried everything to stop the problem, like avoiding vegetables and bran before I hit the sack and spending ages on the toilet, trying to empty the bay doors, but no matter [...]
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain Age 9
Hi Sorcha, I’ve been going out with a girl for six months now and I’m starting to think she doesn’t like me – and I don’t mean, doesn’t like some of the things I do, or gets annoyed at me sometimes, I mean… I think she hates me. Three weeks ago, I was playing Dungeons and Dragons with both of my friends, when all the lights went out in my flat. I took out my emergency torch (I used to be a boy scout – be prepared!) when someone with [...]
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain Age 9
From The Desk of Mr Ahmed Mukhtar. Branch Manager National Bank of Abu Dhabi Email: mrahmed.mukhta@aol.com Good day Friend, I am pleased to get across to you with a very urgent and profitable business proposal, you might receive this message in your Inbox or Spam folder because of the Internet slow. I want you to know this is real and must be kept confidential between you and me. I need your assistance in this urgent matter. I got your e-mail address on the internet while browsing and after that, I [...]
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain Age 9
Dear Sorcha, Help! I have accidentally proposed to my girlfriend. After plying me with cider the evil temptress bewitched me with promises of regular blow jobs and next thing I know, I’m down on one knee simpering about how much I would be honoured to take her as my wife……if ever I can get a job that pays anything after we graduate. Last time I made an important decision whilst inebriated, I woke up covered in glitter next to a bloke with a pink feather boa and a sharp pain in [...]
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain Age 9
Dear Sorcha, I’ve just moved from Donegal to start a law degree in Griffith College. Despite doing my best to blend in and mix with my peers in Muff, I never seemed to get accepted and I never worked out why. I’ve had lots of relationships, just never with a human being……of either sex. I’d love to leave my wellingtons in the closet and start a new chapter in my life. When I first met my law tutor, Mrs O’Mally-McCarthy, I felt an instant connection, despite the fact that she’s a 57 [...]
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain Age 9
Dear Sorcha, I require your help with a rather sensitive issue, regarding the size of my girlfriend’s backside. When we started going out last summer term, it was neat and pert like a ripe peach. Unfortunately, as the months have passed, her posterior has grown exponentially, to resemble something not dissimilar in size to the Holyhead ferry. I have gingerly attempted to address the matter by subtly hinting that she might want to take up pilates or get on an exercise bike once in a while, but she’s too busy shovelling [...]
Your Problems Solved by Sorcha Ni Shuillibhean Aged 9
Dear Sorcha It’s been so long since someone rang my bell I’m starting to wonder if I’ll ever have another orgasm that doesn’t involve four AA batteries. All the guys on my IT degree are either taken, gay or potential serial killers, except for Dermot from Cavan, and I’ve already shagged him and discovered that the one thing you never want to ask a guy in bed is, ‘Is it in yet?’. If I wasn’t such an aggressive atheist I’d join the Poor Clares, so instead I thought I’d become a lesbian, but [...]
Your Problems Solved By Sorcha Ni Shuilleabhain, Age 9
Dear Sorcha, Because of the way Bertie fecked up the country, I have to work part-time to support myself through uni. I love my job but I’m thinking of leaving because my boss is a lecherous old git. He doesn’t trust me, so he’s always hanging around watching over me and making inappropriate comments about the quality of my work or what I’m wearing. Although I can handle his general lack of respect and perverted demeanour, I am tired of him paying me peanuts for all my hard work. Do you [...]
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