Dear Sorcha
Is it possible to recover from stripping off when someone has left the room, only to be told when they return, that you’ve misread the signals? Last night, after several hours clubbing, I ended up, back at this girl’s parent’s house. After some prolonged tongue wrestling, she slipped out of the living room to ‘make some tea’. The suggestive look she gave me as as I came up for air made me assume some, more intimate activity would be taking place on her parent’s fire-side shag pile rug upon her return. While she was away, I threw off my clothes and lay back on the rug, my fully erect member silhouetted against the glowing embers. With mounting anticipation,we both awaited her return, expecting her to be minimally scantily clad.
Imagine my shock, when she returned carrying a tray of tea and biscuits, followed by her parents. My memory of what happened next is a bit of a blank and all I could hear was a loud rushing in my ears as the room started to spin. I came to in a taxi shortly after and haven’t dared to contact the girl since. Is there anything I could have done to defuse and recover the situation, given the importance of first impressions?
Yours
Harry Milligan-Houlihan
Final Year Electrical Engineering
TCD
Dear Harry
Once, in assembly, Mrs O’Flynn was telling us a parable from the Bible about the Prodigal Son. I think she was trying to tell us that you can be as naughty as you like and you’ll never get in trouble with your mum and dad or anyone else’s.
Then suddenly all the kids at the front started screaming, jumping up and running for the fire exits. Oliver Kenny-Browne was left standing alone in a fast expanding pool of wee, his fireman in one hand and the other picking his nose. We all got to stay outside and have extra playtime instead of hearing more dubious advice from Mrs O’Flynn and Oliver Kenny-Browne was taken to the school psychologist (again).
It sounds like you maybe have the same problem as Oliver, so try to get over your embarrassment and go back and see this girl and her parents as soon as possible.
Take her a gift like a slip and slide, which is this summer’s must have and I’m sure the four of you will have much more fun with that, than on a mangy old rug. Otherwise, you might end up wearing brown lost property pants and sitting alone on the naughty seat until your mummy comes to fetch you.
Hope this helps!
Sorcha
Have you a problem needing Sorcha’s unique advice? If so, leave a comment and Sorcha will respond as soon as she’s finished her homework.
Image: Wikimedia Commons.
No comments yet.