Troubles of the Vertically Challenged

Think about it. That top shelf is easy to reach, right? You can do that without the aid of stools and chairs and all that. But how tall are you? Probably taller than I am. Standing at a measly five foot four, I’ve come to accept that my genes have commanded that I am staying there. Most of my family are around the same stature, and some of my friends are too. However, it may be fun to be all short and sweet, the feeling does not stay sweet. Here’s some reasons why.

Clothes Shopping

That skirt over there? Nope, too long, unless you hoik it up to your tits and wear a pair of stilts (may also be called high heels). I’m not a heels girl. I like that they make me tall, but I don’t like the pain of wearing them, and the subsequent effect on your balance. However, sometimes needs must, and they do look very pretty. Oh, and while you’re admiring those jeans, they don’t do them in a short leg. Better fork out to get them taken up, or get handy with a needle and thread if you want them that badly!

Top Shelf

The dreaded top shelf comes to mind whenever I enter the kitchen. Having set out on my own for college, I was faced with some difficulty. My usual tactic for reaching the top shelf is clambering onto the counter. However, the counter was too high for me to do that. Faced the dilemma of dragging heavy chairs around the kitchen, I quickly came to a happy conclusion – leave stuff you want on the bottom shelf, or in the bottom cupboards. Or else adopt someone taller. Always handy to have to hide things from your vertically challenged flat mates.

Tall People

I’m surrounded by tall people in college. I hug people daily, and it can become close to indecent assault at times.  However, there is nothing worse than being made aware of how short you are; picked up, spun around, thrown over shoulders – the list goes on. Of course, there’s always the one person who will take something, and hold it over your head to keep you from having it. Oh, and trying to keep pace with that six-foot giant? Better work for it!

Chuggers (Charity Muggers)

Well, this is one you didn’t expect. Whenever you go into Dublin city centre, fundraisers from Amnesty, Concern, and even the Hanly Centre are waiting patiently for somebody to actually stop to their bleated “Do you have a minute?” Unsure whether I’m a student or not, I nearly always get stopped by them. Tall friends say the best way to avoid them is just look over their heads – a bit difficult to do when you’re that bit shorter. Cue either trying to look over their heads or gazing blankly at their crotch, lovely.