Yes, kids, it’s that time of year again. Pancakes eaten, we’re facing the toughest 40 days of our young lives (again): Lent. In the past, giving up sweets would suffice, because you were usually back swapping your pound coins for a bag of penny jellies and candy sticks by the next week but as semi-grown-ups just how do we tackle Lent now? What should we give up for ‘Arnold’?
Eating crap
We all said we’d do it in January. The world and its mother surfaced from the nightclub after ringing in the New Year in style, bound for the nearest chipper. Here, a greasy burger was ordered with the promise that this would be the last one ‘So I’m gonna bleedin’ *hiccup* enjoy it!’ So, why not give it a go now? Say goodbye to Chinese takeaways, Dominos and crisps. Embrace fruit, vegetables, and food you actually cooked yourself.
Smoking
Yes, it’s not going to be easy. In fact, giving up smoking is one of the most difficult things a person can do. But, when you’re feeling tempted to spark up, think of the benefits to kicking the habit. More money in the pocket, meaning more food in the tummy, clothes in the wardrobe, or shoes on the feet. Less chance of contracting lung cancer, so a longer life is in store and what’s more you won’t have to go out to the smoking area in the freezing cold for a crafty fag on a night out. Now sit back and look at the wet, cold people with a damp cigarette hanging limply from their mouths. Attractive, huh?
Drink
Remember back in the days when you played a team sport, and before any big game you were warned not to go within 10 miles of a pub for fear you’d stumble out onto the pitch? Now imagine doing that for 40 days. Not only will you have enough money to fund a small rural GAA team, you could probably captain them to an All Ireland too.
The Shift/The Ride
We all know God isn’t exactly the biggest fan of all this ‘sex outside of marriage’ thing so if you denounce any claim and interest to members of the opposite sex for 40 days, you’re looking at VIP entrance past the Pearly Gates. Just don’t mention your antics in the weeks after Easter because you were ‘making up for lost time’
What are you giving up for Lent?
Image from WikkiCommons
No comments yet.