You got your results, happy out, just enough (or maybe more) to get you into college. Celebrations, planning and all-round excitement ensued. And there they were, the best friend, smiling through it all. This friend however wasn’t going to college, they were staying put while you spread your wings and moved on like a hungry cow to greener pastures.
But what to do with this friend when, after a few months, when his or her initial excitement turns to the green-eyed monster or worse, to downright hatred of your student ways?
There are two types of friend from home: the one who is suspicious of your new life and the one who simply thinks you’re now a prick.
We all have one, the friend who makes ridiculous comments like “You’re college has a website? Ewh.” They hate any
mention of what you get up to, laugh at the idea of assignments and think the whole thing is really just a doss. Yes, their strange aversion to Moodle/Blackboard can be awkward when you’re just dying to read the slides from your last lecture. Conversations can be strained when your reply to “any news?” is met with a blank stare, angry ravings about being paid to “do nothing” are stressful and constant hate-stalking of your new friends is plain scary.
There are a number of subtle ways to deal with this friend. Ditch ‘em. What is the point? The aim is to increase your
student-ness. Yes indeed, I advise you to transform into the complete prick your friend thinks you are. Wear nothing but skinny jeans when around this friend. Comment every now and then on how the tightness of them is actually
quite pleasant and your legs and other areas aren’t actually being strangled. Over-pronounce your words and never start a sentence without the phrase “Oh my God”. Everything is now “amazing” and no other adjective will do because you’re a student now roysh? Tell countless stories about people your friend doesn’t know as if they were involved. For example,“Oh my God I was in the library and Trish totz fell over and then Diarmuid (who btw is amazing) tried to pick her up but his uber-tight jeans totz ripped and his IPhone STILL doesn’t work!” Your friend won’t care and they will slowly die inside until they can no longer be your friend and a quiet life will be yours. Other tactics include throwing money at him/her when the grant comes in or casually throwing your latest assignment into every conversation. “Yeah I hate when that happens too…just like when I have to write 3000 words …”
The Suspicious One
There is also that friend who doesn’t hate you for going on to college but is never quite sure what to make of the whole thing and is possibly a bit jealous. All will be ok if this friend can understand your new life a bit better. Introduce
them to your new friends and make sure this they’re invited to your raucous nights out. If you’ve moved away from home, be sure to bring them up for a visit. Sometimes they might not understand that when assignments
are due, there is less time to talk and random, pointless texts can be hard to answer. I suggest ‘breaking your phone’ or the always reliable “I broke both my hands whilst getting the shift off an absolute beast.” Never let this friend
feel left behind and always be up for some bonding time. This friend is one to keep and unlike the hater, won’t send death stares your way for reasons only they can explain.
A new life can be hard to get used to for both student and friend so just remember: stay focused, stay cool, stay tight in those jeans and everything should be fine.
Have any of your friends turned weird on you since starting college? How do you deal with them?
Image from Wikimedia Commons